Forgotten by: Sarah Espinoza, Archival Inkjet Print, 2018
The bushes were getting too long, something Mom would not stop mentioning. “They need to be trimmed but…” and she would have a million reasons as to why she couldn’t do it. Mainly that she was too busy. So, I offered to do it. I don’t mind really. I’m used to her excuses by now. And besides, the weather is nice. A good day to spend outdoors.
I grab the clippers and get to work. I enjoy it. It’s like art, shaping and trimming them so that they look neat. It’s a beautiful distraction from life. I have control over very little, but the shape of the bushes rests in my hands. The large ash tree covers the entire yard so that I’m shaded and surrounded by green. Lainey darts in and out of the plants so that I occasionally see a small, black blur. And every now and then she crouches as low as she can in the grass, stalking the falling leaves and branches.
I take my time, reveling in the simple act of cutting under the beautiful ash tree, appreciating each breeze that blows my way, and spectating Lainey’s little adventure. Then I realize that I’m done. All I want is to sit in the grass, but now the real work must begin. It’s time to pick up the mess.
“It looks good.” Mom has come out to inspect my work. “Now we just gotta pick up the mess. I’ll get a bag and the gloves.”
“That’s ok,” I say. “I’ll do it myself.”
“No, I can help you.”
“No, really it’s fine. It won’t take long.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’ll at least get you the bag and gloves.”
I wait outside for Mom to come back with the supplies wishing that I didn’t have to pick up the mess. At least not by myself. But I would rather suffer in silence than listen to my Mom’s complaints. Lainey’s now rolling in a little pile of leaves.
“You gonna help me, Lainey?”
More rolling.
Mom comes back with the stuff and I get to work. The sun’s rising higher in the sky, heating up the yard. I begin to sweat a little as I break the branches so that they’ll fit in the trash bag. Lainey becomes increasingly more annoyed as I take away her forest. I end up needing another bag, so I go into the house to get one.
“You need help?” Mom asks from the couch. I grab a bag as quickly as I can and shut the door as I yell, “nope.”
Anger has settled into my cheeks, making them flush. I know better than to accept her “help.” I’m already tired and upset, I don’t need to add guilt to that mess. I set the bags by the mailbox. My hands and arms are scratched, my back aches, and I’m covered in sweat as I walk back to the yard. I throw the gloves to the porch as I sit in the grass. Every now and then the breeze feels good on my damp skin. Mom unsurprisingly interrupts my peace by coming to inspect my work.
“Wow, this looks much better. Thank you, I know this was a big job.”
“You’re welcome.” My job’s done, so I let myself crack a genuine smile.
“Now that that’s done we could start putting the Christmas lights up!” Mom laughs with excitement. That does sound nice. But not right now. I really just want to sit right now.
“I can put them up today, if you want,” I say as I stand up.
“Oh no, we don’t have to do it today. Getting the yard ready was a big step. We can do it another day.”
“I don’t mind. All I have to do is get the boxes out of the attic. It won’t take long.”
“Well, if you want to. Just make sure the lights work before you put them up. And get Josh to help you get the boxes, some of them are heavy.”
The last thing I want to do is ask Josh for help. If I wanted to be miserable, I would’ve just accepted her help in the first place. I walk into his room to find him playing a video game, as usual.
“Josh, can you help me get the Christmas boxes out of the attic?” He doesn’t even look away from his TV.
“Why?”
“Because I want to put the lights up.” A slight whiny quality is creeping into my voice.
“Do we have to do it now?”
“Yes, Josh. All I need you to do is get a few boxes down. Are you seriously too lazy to even do that?”
“Why can’t you do it yourself? You’re the one who wants them down.” He still won’t take his eyes off the screen.
“Because my back, Josh, don’t act stupid. Just please get them down for me. It’ll only take 5 minutes.” I’m yelling now.
“You know what, just do it yourself, I’m definitely not helping now.”
“Yeah, because you were definitely going to help before?” I slam his door and make my way to the attic. I get the boxes down with a great deal of noise, prompting my mom to ask why I’m doing it alone. As she goes to talk to Josh, I quickly take the boxes outside so I don’t have to listen to them argue.
I snatch lights out of boxes, throwing them down as they come out tangled. Lainey is watching me, her green eyes especially bright in the sun. I move the strands of lights and her tail flicks. Soon she’s running back and forth trying to catch them. I let myself sit and begin to untangle as she continues to swat them.
I test them using the extension cord. There are only two broken, and one half-strand. Not bad. I begin to drape multi-colored lights over one section of bushes. Then red for the other section, and green for the largest bush. I have plenty of strands left over, so I begin to wrap the tree’s trunk.
Josh walks outside, hands in his pockets. “Do you need help?”
“No.”
He walks inside without a word. I walk in circles around the trunk, observing all the bugs that crawl in and out of its crevices. I realize that I’ve been stepping in an ant pile. At least I’m wearing boots. Lainey climbs into the tree, staring down as I make my rounds. I finish and decide that I can line the top of the garage as well. I grab the ladder and the staple gun.
I finish and walk to the road to observe my work. The lights aren’t even lit. But they will be tonight. My art on display for the street to see. Mom opens the door to find me standing in the road.
“What’s up?” She walks into the yard.
“I finished putting the lights up. And I wrapped the tree and lined the top of the garage.”
“You were on a ladder by yourself? That’s dangerous.”
“I know, but it didn’t take long, and nothing happened.”
She gives me a look. “Well, you shouldn’t do that. But thank you for putting the lights up. You did a lot today.” We walk back through the yard and up to the porch.
“Oh, wait. I have to get the boxes back in”
“I’ll help.”
“It’s ok, I got it.”
“You sure?”
“Yep.”
Mom walks inside as I close the boxes and bring them back to the attic. They’re much lighter now. I walk outside to find Lainey, still in the tree. We’re the first house on the street to be decorated. And I did it by myself, yet again.